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Toxic Relatives: Help your child deal with them

by Puja
Toxic Relatives
  • Introduction
  • How to identify toxic relatives around you?
  • Ways to cope up with toxic relatives
  • Conclusion

Children’s psychology is difficult to understand. Every child react to a given situation differently and you always cannot predict what goes on in their mind. However, as parents you should be careful about what leaves an impact on your children and what doesn’t. Helping your kid to be the best they can be is a crucial part of parenting. Children may always not be happy to receive feedback and information from everyone in the family. Toxic relatives however do not understand this.

Feedback when given with a generous intent can do well for them while those feedback given in a harsh way can break the child’s self-esteem or self-concept. Anything that causes humiliation or feeling of shame is toxic for the children. It is not easy to withdraw your child from a toxic adult, particularly when they are relatives. However, there are many things that you can do to build a shield around them and teach them how to protect themselves from the negativity.

Toxic people will always come and go in everyone’s life, hence, your children should know the ways to avoid them and be generous. First, they should identify the toxic people and then deal with them strategically so that they are not able to cause any mental stress. Here, we would discuss elaborately on how you can help your child to avoid toxic relatives.

How to identify toxic relatives around you?

Some of the signs that would tell you that your relatives are toxic are:

They try to compete with you and get jealous

It might seem weird, but even a grown up adult can feel jealous of a 12 years old girl or boy. There can be toxic people existing in every family. So, you child should be able to read their behavior and be conscious.

Sometimes they tend to overreact

It is okay when parents or relatives are angry on kids when they run around the house and break things around. However, if the relative sticks to the unusual behavior even when you grow up then you should understand that the relationship is toxic.

Over Reacting Relative

They often compare

You will find many relatives comparing your child with theirs. Every child is different and unique in their own ways and should never be compared. When anyone tries to compare your child with their or among both of your children, you should know that they are spreading negativity.

They defer to respect your boundaries

Some relatives have the tendency to be impulsive. They often try to get into your comfort zone and make things uncomfortable for you and your children. Their unannounced visits and capturing the couch for several days are signs that they should be avoided.

Toxic Relative not Respecting Boundaries

They constantly talk about themselves

There would be some relatives who would love to talk about themselves only. They would be constantly talking about their success stories, their exciting news and everything good that happened to them. They do this with an intention to make you feel jealous and sad.

Ways to cope up with toxic relatives

You teach your child the following ways to cope up with toxic relatives:

Be captivated by your motives

The toxic relatives would try to trap your child with their miserable words. However, your children pay no heed to their words. There would be consequences of avoiding them but they should make the right decision. It is always better to stay independent rather than being controlled. You children should learn how to prevent themselves from being manipulated. Ask your children to inculcate the power from within, as they will be able to act positively when they feel motivated to do so.

Understand why the toxic people behave differently

Toxic people are dangerous because they behave differently from the others and they have specific reason to do that. They will always find something in you that they don’t want to acknowledge about themselves. This kind of thought process is called projection. You might be the most generous, hard working and kind person on the earth, but they will try to convince you that you are a liar and nasty person. Whenever, they try to do the same with your children, you should boost up your children’s confidence level by showing their positive features.

Set your boundaries

It is not possible to please everyone. However, the toxic relatives would try to tell your children that cannot please anyone and they are worthless. This way, your children would strive to work harder and compromise their life. In the process, they would feel frustrated and their productivity in terms of work will degrade. Toxic people have all the intention to break down your boundary and enter your private zone. Your children should decide whether their want to let a particular person dictate them. No matter if, anyone thinks it right or wrong, you children should listen to voice of the conscience and move away of they find something is wrong.

Refrain helping the toxic people

Tell your children they do not have to help the toxic relatives or any person even when they are in crisis. Toxic people are often in crisis because they are masters in creating them. They can target your children and call them to for gaining sympathy, support and attention. Your children should not adhere to their needs even if they show that they are in severe crisis. Teach your children and make them understand that they should not be a part of their crisis by being inattentive, indifferent and unemotional to the crisis. Neither you nor your children should ask questions or offer help. Toxic people are not normal hence; avoiding them would be the best option.

Own your weaknesses and strengths

Everyone has a messy side apart from being beautiful and brilliant. Teach your children to understand and own their flaws. When they are aware of their flaws, nobody would be able to use them to create negativity in your children’s life. The toxic relatives will strive hard to play with the flaws and put down your child’s strength and confidence level. When you children knows to own both their weakness and strength they would not be affected with what others think about them. Their strength would be sufficient to empower them.

Confident child

Human beings live in groups unless they are willing to be left alone. Toxic people are difficult to be avoided, as they are everywhere. You child will have to encounter with toxic relatives and people at several stages of life. Your children should know how much they should allow the person’s interference in life. When you cannot change anyone, you should even try. Instead, you can save that energy to do something worthy or stay at peace.

When you know the signs of toxic behavior in a person, you can try to cut off the interaction with them so that their thoughts cannot impact your adversely. Always keep yourself empowered, calm and composed when you come across such people. Do not respond to their depressing words and tame your mind to flush out all the negativity that they try to instill in you.

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